Made You Think

Can you draw Morrissey? And other stories about cute little (lying, biting) toddlers

Thanks to the Morning News I found this blog with two recent, hilarious posts about life as an alternadad. My favorite part from the first one, which recounts a visit to Souplantation (which reminded me how much I wish we had Souplantation in Milwaukee). Alternadad takes his son outside after a biting incident.

"You listen to me, Mister," I said. "We do not bite!"

"But I was..."

"No buts," I said. "Biting is wrong and you need to go back in and apologize to your mother."

He looked at me, grinned, and took off down the concrete ramp. I chased after him and scooped him up again.

"Cut the crap, tough guy!" I said, only sort of aware that I was talking to my son as though I were Richard Widmark in a black and white movie.

"I want to play outside," Elijah said.

The disarming began. He tagged me and said, "I am Doctor Octopus and you are the Rhino!"

"I don't want to play Spiderman right now," I said. "I want to finish my dinner. Now let's go inside and you can apologize to mommy. I will play the Rhino at home and I will defeat you."

The title of the other hilarious post, "Can you draw Morrissey?," speaks for itself.